By Khalida Sarwari
There are times when Sharon Lucas shows glimpses of her old life, when she’s telling a joke or printing photos to post on the walls of her craft room. But the resemblance to the woman she was just two years ago ends there.
Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease at the age of 56, the once artistic stay-at-home mother is now dependent upon her family for tasks as simple as eating and showering.
A strong and tight-knit support system has enabled Lucas to cope with the disease, considered to be the sixth leading cause of death in the U.S. and the only cause of death among the top 10 in the country that cannot be prevented, cured or even slowed. Her husband of nearly 30 years, Jon Lucas, retired soon after the diagnosis to dedicate most of his time to taking care of her. Sharon’s daughters, Laura, 26, and Mandy, 23, set aside time from their professional lives to visit her once a week at her home in Cupertino.
But the visits are almost always emotionally taxing, said Laura, who lives in Campbell and works as an account manager for an electronics testing laboratory in Santa Clara.
“Every time I see her, it reminds me of what I’ve lost,” Laura said. “I know she’s still there alive and present, but she’s not there anymore; the person I loved is gone. It’s just this ongoing mourning that won’t stop.”
Laura and Mandy described their mother as a “great mom, a best friend” who was involved in their lives. Mandy, who’s engaged and planning a wedding in March, said one of the hardest things for her lately has been not having her mother’s help during milestones such as shopping for a wedding dress.
To cope, the sisters rely on friends, relatives and their significant others. But mostly, they lean on each other and on their father. Though they’ve always been close, the experience has brought the three of them closer together, said Laura.
Suspicions that their mother having Alzheimer’s began nearly three years ago when the family started noticing Sharon was frequently repeating herself and becoming worried or insecure about certain things.
“At first I didn’t really think too much of it, but then it started getting apparent when she couldn’t do things like play a board game,” said Mandy, who resides in Mountain View and works as a preschool teacher on the Stanford University campus. “We were playing Clue and she couldn’t follow the logistics of the game. That was a red flag.”
Laura, who was in college and studying abroad at the time, noticed similar symptoms and initially felt that her mother was either not listening to her or wasn’t interested in what she was saying. Realizing that those qualities were out of character for her mother, she said she jumped to the Alzheimer’s conclusion almost immediately.
After doing some research, she brought up her suspicions to her sister and father, and the three of them took Sharon to a doctor. After a series of tests, the doctor confirmed their worst fear and said she had five to 10 years to live.
Sharon was prescribed medication that delays the progression of Alzheimer’s, but the deterioration in her health is unmistakable, said Laura.
In the beginning, Sharon had an awareness of the disease and would often be embarrassed and cry. Now, she acts moody and temperamental the way a child would, talks often about her parents and recognizes her husband, but doesn’t seem to be aware that she’s a mother. She spends most of her time in a room in the house dedicated to her craft projects, but instead of designing invitations as she used to as part of a business she ran, now she finds and prints random pictures from the Internet.
“The world that she lives in now is the only one she knows anymore,” Laura said. “Her personality has changed a lot.”
On Oct. 20, Laura and Mandy will be participating for the second year in a row in the 3-mile Silicon Valley Walk to End Alzheimer’s at the Arena Green in downtown San Jose. The Silicon Valley event is one of 600 walks held throughout the country by the Alzheimer’s Association to raise money and awareness for Alzheimer’s programs, services and research.
The family has raised roughly $8,000 for the walk, said Laura.
“It’s comforting in a way, knowing that I’m not alone,” Mandy said about the reason why she participates. “It’s a way of feeling empowered; it helps me feel like I’m doing something to find a cure.”
