By Khalida Sarwari
A year after Saratoga High School student Audrie Pott took her own life after she was allegedly sexually assaulted and cyber-bullied, Santa Clara County sheriff’s deputies found themselves grappling with yet another case with similar elements. This one involved a young girl at Homestead High School in Cupertino who had been the victim of sexting. Deputies cited 11 of her peers and arrested one, but unlike the Pott case, this story had a happier ending.
“The victim is still alive,” Deputy Thomas Bond, a school resource officer who works at Cupertino schools, said. “She went to an adult.”
The adult the girl confided in was a school counselor at Homestead, and the incident occurred this past summer. Few details about the case have emerged because it is still an open investigation, said Bond.
He and a fellow school resource officer, Deputy Aaron Baker, hosted a meeting at the Quinlan Community Center Oct. 15 to educate parents on phone and Internet safety, sharing tips on monitoring social media websites, cell phone usage and preventing cyber-bullying and sexting.
The audience of 34 Saratoga and Cupertino parents heard from Bond and Baker on setting policies and consequences prior to giving kids a phone; the importance of familiarizing themselves with new technologies and applications and how kids are using them; and how to report abuse and inappropriate content.
The three-hour meeting also addressed digital reputation and provided tips on how parents can address cyber-safety with their children.
But the crux of the meeting was cyber-bullying and sexting, a phenomenon described as the act of sending sexually explicit material through electronic means to others. For the last two years, sexting has been the No. 1 cause of on-campus citations, replacing marijuana possession, according to Bond.
The motives behind sexting aren’t always vicious, he said.
“They don’t do it with the intention to hurt or cause pain. The majority of the time, it’s to be cool,” he said. “It’s like bragging: ‘I’ve got the video, you want to see it?’ ”
The problem, Bond said, is that sexting can have major consequences.
After screening a brief video on Jill Naber, the Los Gatos High School student who killed herself in March 2009 after an embarrassing photo of her was posted on the Internet, Bond left parents with a reminder that cyber-bullying can happen in even the safest and quietest neighborhoods.
“This is not something that happened in New York,” Bond said. “It happened down the road.”
In honor of cyber safety month, the Santa Clara County Sheriff’s Office shared the following tips with children and parents.
Tips for children:
• Don’t give out personal information such as your address, telephone number, parent’s work address or phone number, or the name and location of your school, without your parent’s permission.
• Tell your parents right away if you come across anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
• Never agree to get together with someone you “meet” online without first checking with your parents. If your parents agree to the meeting, be sure that it is in a public place and bring a parent along.
• Never send a person your picture or anything else without first checking with your parents.
• Don’t respond to any messages that are mean or in any way make you feel uncomfortable. Remember, it is not your fault if you get a message like that. If you do, tell your parents right away so they can take appropriate action. Do not delete the message.
• Set up rules with your parents for being online. Decide upon the time of day that you can be online, the length of time you can be online, and appropriate sites for you to visit. Expect consequences for violating the rules.
• Don’t give out your Internet passwords to anyone–even your best friends–other than your parents.
Tips for parents:
• Install an Internet filter or utilize parental control software.
• Limit the amount of time your children spend surfing the Internet and chatting online.
• Talk to your children about online predators.
• Learn and understand how your children spend their time online.
• Educate yourself first, then your child. Banning a child from certain sites may only motivate them to spend more time on them, whereas educating that child on how to keep safe will give them the tools they need to navigate their online world without being hurt.
• Keep computers and cell phones out of children’s bedrooms. Allow computer use to occur in open areas where it can easily be monitored. “There’s no reason to have a computer, laptop or phone in their room while they’re sleeping,” said Bond.
• Discuss accountability with your child. Make sure they understand that they are responsible for anything they do online.
• Learn the meaning behind the lingo your child is using.
• Teach your kids self-respect.
For additional tips, visit child-internet-safety.com, fbi.gov/publications/pguide/pguidee.htm andwebwisekids.org.
Sexting, cyber bullying and more covered by officers at meeting
